Top Ways for a Company to Blow a Job Interview
1. Make me wait in the waiting room past our appointment time. My time is as valuable as yours.
2. Make me meet with Human Resources first. My time is as valuable as yours.
3. Make me fill out forms. This can be done in advance.
4. Don’t shake my hand. (I have no idea why this happens, but it does.)
5. Begin the conversation with anything other than, “Hello,” or “Nice to meet you.” Again, why would the first words of any interview be, “How would you handle mass emails?”
6. Don’t give me your business card. As a job applicant, I’m just as important as any vendor or business associate. This is a good chance to demonstate it.
7. Criticize my job history. Here is the reason I’ve had 9 jobs in the past 5 years: Because there were poorly run businesses, assholes, and mismatches. The reason I’m here is to try to fix all that. Move along.
8. Expect me to have 10 years experience in every possible technology your entire enterprise uses. I will learn what I need. Promise.
9. Ask me how many gas stations are in the United States, how many ping pong balls fit in a bus, or why manhole covers are round. Frankly, I don’t care. There, now you have the results for both your I.Q. test and your personality test.
10. Don’t follow up. I know that I’m probably not the only person your interviewing and this may take some time. Extend me the same courtesy you would the window washers. Don’t make me email you every week.